Is there anything even resembling docs to get the Apache templates running at this
point? Can't find anything anywhere.

No.  Do you want commit access so you can edit the wiki?

If I am able to figure out how to get them working, i'll definitely contribute :-P

I'll email you if / when I get stuff working

The general process is to install a passwordless SSH key (or load one into an agent)
where the Cacti user can get it, create a user on the monitored server, then install
the matching public key into the monitored server's user account.  Cacti executes the
PHP script, which ssh'es to the monitored server and executes a command, then parses
the output and returns it for graphing.  So hopefully that is a place to get started;
I think it will be straightforward, but there will probably be little details.  If
you look inside the PHP file, each function has a "how to test this" sample shell
command above it, generally starting with "su - cacti -c ...." or something like that.

I've added fuhrysteve as a committer.

I have added a wiki page to show how to set up the SSH keys and user accounts
required.  It is quite simple.  Next we need documentation on each template.

The SSH documentation is in
http://code.google.com/p/mysql-cacti-templates/wiki/SSHBasedTemplates

This is done.